New game

[erisesoteric]

OK, the rules of the game. I'll name someone, and the next person to post has to decide whether that person a) was born without a soul, b) sold their soul, c) lost their soul, or d) keeps their soul in a box to maintain their immortality. Please note the following examples:

lowrentvalkyrie: OK, how about George Bush, Sr?
WlrdRuler: soul in a box but only because it's too ashamed to be seen with him
WlrdRuler: what about shrub jr?
lowrentvalkyrie: sold for drugs
lowrentvalkyrie: nixon?
WlrdRuler: no soul
WlrdRuler: newt gingrich?
lowrentvalkyrie: no soul. Which his parents knew (explains the name, now doesn't it?)
lowrentvalkyrie: Cher?
WlrdRuler: sold, you think she looks like that with just surgery?
lowrentvalkyrie: point
WlrdRuler: Michael Jackson
lowrentvalkyrie: soul isn't coming out of the box until he becomes a black man again
lowrentvalkyrie: Stephen Spielberg?
WlrdRuler: soul isn't coming out of it's box until he apologises for minority report
lowrentvalkyrie: you think he's had his sould up until that movie came out?
WlrdRuler: no, but i think it is horrified to have even been associated with him at one point
lowrentvalkyrie: true
WlrdRuler: Mike Myers
lowrentvalkyrie: was playing with it and it fell down a gutter
lowrentvalkyrie: Stephen King
WlrdRuler: has it in a box and makes it read all his books first, if it's ashamed of itself he sends it to the publishers
lowrentvalkyrie: good one!
WlrdRuler: thanks
WlrdRuler: Oprah
lowrentvalkyrie: sells parts of it periodically for a diet plan that works.
WlrdRuler: good
lowrentvalkyrie: John Mellencamp
WlrdRuler: no soul, he couldn't have ever called himself cougar if he had one
WlrdRuler: Keanu Reeves
lowrentvalkyrie: well, he THOUGHT he was selling it for a personality, but when you read the fine print on the contract, you see that all he gets for it is a bad haircut
lowrentvalkyrie: Robin Williams
WlrdRuler: soul in a box--brits rarely actually sell their souls
WlrdRuler: Tiger Woods?
lowrentvalkyrie: Sold it to Nike, which we all know is the Demons earthly headquarters
lowrentvalkyrie: Courtney Love?
WlrdRuler: she gave it to Kurt as a wedding present and he sold it for drugs
WlrdRuler: Prince Charles?
lowrentvalkyrie: the royals haven't had souls for at least a century
lowrentvalkyrie: Sting?
WlrdRuler: sold it to get that role in Dune, regretted it ever after
WlrdRuler: J. K. Rowling?
lowrentvalkyrie: cut it into seven pieces, and is selling them off when each book comes out
lowrentvalkyrie: Robert Heinlein?
WlrdRuler: Lazarus Long stole it
WlrdRuler: Calista Flockhart?
lowrentvalkyrie: accidentally ate it, and has trying to purge it ever since
lowrentvalkyrie: Roger Waters?
WlrdRuler: no soul
WlrdRuler: Eddie Murphy?
lowrentvalkyrie: It ran away after seeing some of his skits on SNL
lowrentvalkyrie: George Carlin?
WlrdRuler: sold to learn new swear words
WlrdRuler: Drew Barrymore?
lowrentvalkyrie: left it somewhere and forgot about it
lowrentvalkyrie: Dennis Miller?
WlrdRuler: changed its identity and moved to Bimini
WlrdRuler: Michael J. Fox
lowrentvalkyrie: keeps it in a box under the bed, and takes it out to look at it on holidays
lowrentvalkyrie: Madonna
WlrdRuler: Keeps it chained up as a sex slave.
WlrdRuler: Bill Gates?
lowrentvalkyrie: sold it to apple in exchange for most of their software ideas. they've realized in the meantime that they've gotten the worst of the bargain
lowrentvalkyrie: George Lucas?
WlrdRuler: sold it to get the script for Empire Strikes Back and to get a director for it. There's a reason it's everyone thinks it's the best film
lowrentvalkyrie: good point
WlrdRuler: Puff Daddy?
lowrentvalkyrie: accidentally shot it while filming a video
lowrentvalkyrie: Bill Cosby?
WlrdRuler: Malcolm Jamal Warner stole it to try and get some fame of his own.
lowrentvalkyrie: explains the pudding pops, now doesn't it?
WlrdRuler: yup. noticed those all started after the Cosby show?
lowrentvalkyrie: uh huh
WlrdRuler: Chris Rock?
lowrentvalkyrie: keeps it in a box and takes it out to practice his rants on. currently traumatized into a catatonic state
lowrentvalkyrie: paul simon?
WlrdRuler: it was that no sex in the champagne room song wasn't it?
WlrdRuler: sold it to get rid of Garfunkel
WlrdRuler: speaking of whom: Art Garfunkel?
lowrentvalkyrie: lost it during the central park concert. is still wandering the park looking for him.
WlrdRuler: lol good one
lowrentvalkyrie: orson scott card?
WlrdRuler: Mormon--he gave it to his church
WlrdRuler: Mick Jagger?
lowrentvalkyrie: sold it to become a sex symbol. Nothing in the contract said anything about making him attractive
lowrentvalkyrie: Keith Richards?
WlrdRuler: sold it to stay alive, again relative health was not in the contract

Next person: Terry Moore

editorial note: even if you like the person listed, and I personally like several in the above examples, please work from the assumption that the person doesn't have a soul for the game to continue.

[crazy a]

(Man, this is hard! I'm not good at this kind of thing.)

Ummm...Gradually selling it in relation to how much Marvel work he gets.

Howard Stern.

[erisesoteric]

Was born with a soul, but it soon left him, alleging molestation and abuse, and is considering filing charges against him.

Tim Allen

[Derico]

Too obvious; traded it to get out of jail years ago.

Emma Thompson.

[erisesoteric]

Keeps it in a secret compartment cut into a copy of the complete works of Shakespear.

Teddy Kennedy

[Derico]

It drowned trying to save Mary Jo.

Woody Allen

[crazy a]

Stays in a box until he makes a good movie again.

Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice).

[erisesoteric]

Is currently at Betty Ford, recovering from the drugs it had to take to deal with the whole Spice Girls thing. Is not available for comment at this time.

Clarence Thomas

[crazy a]

Lost it while trying to get a little action from what's-her-name.

Gene Simmons (of KISS!)

[erisesoteric]

Born without. And damned proud of it, too!

Roger Moore

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 20, 2002 09:28 AM: Message edited by: erisesoteric ]</font>